Sore

Wednesday, 29 July 2009
I watched a show on the Discovery Channel called The Alaska Experiment where couples were placed in the wild of Alaska to survive for three months. There were moments that seemed so difficult for the people, and I wondered aloud, "How can they go on?" Some of us can relate to the struggle they faced albeit not physical challenges.

Imagine you are in the wilderness with the supplies you need to stay alive comfortably for many months. You still get email from your friends and family and lover but you cannot spend time with them. You hope you will see them again soon but you aren't sure when that will be. First, you believe you'll see them in a few months, then those months pass and you start to get hopefully because you believe you'll see them in a matter of weeks. Just when you plan the date on which you will reunite, someone says, sorry, no. You'll have to wait at least another three months but we can't guarantee you'll see them then either.

Your mind starts to play tricks on you. You regret ever going on the trek and you wonder why you decided to leave your loved one in the first place. Even though you've learned a lot and are grateful for a new experience, you feel like a failure for getting yourself in this situation. The nights are the most difficult part. You stay up reading just to have false company and wait until complete exhaustion creeps in to turn off the light.

I wish things were different for my darling and I. The sorrow is not easy to deal with. I am an extremely private person and hate to show emotion to others. Plus, no one wants to shoulder someone else's seemingly never-ending burden. My release is blogging.

Yes, I can go to visit Kingsley but I only have a week's vacation and that is not enough time to celebrate love and knit together (again) a strong bond of hope and strength. We just knew saying goodbye at the airport after our wedding in May would be the last painful detachment experience we would have to suffer. This is horribly disappointing.

1 comment

Jinjajam said...

Oh darling ,I feel your pain...you guys just hang on its gotta come right ....This will certainly keep you together forever. love you always