Facebook Question

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

I have more and more friend requests from people I do not know since Facebook's privacy policy changed.  I may have one mutual friend in common with someone and he/she requests to be friends as well.  Recently I've been ignoring the friend requests.  Now, I'm wondering about my own Facebook policy. 

Should I just be friends with everyone and keep my page professional now instead of trying to walk the fine line of  "private?"  That means no personal pictures, no real opinions on politics, religion or inside jokes on others' walls.  Also, should news personalities be "friends" with viewers (strangers) on Facebook?  Is it time to just give up on the private/personal on-line presence and recognize in this age of instant technology nothing is private anymore?

While I have you here, may I also ask your opinion on the cell phone technology that allows you to "check in" wherever you go?  Meaning, you log into the site and it adds the address of wherever you are to your FB or Twitter feed.  My Twitter friends use it every day and I'm terrified of that type of app.  It just makes stalking too easy.  Most people can find your home address online in less than 20 seconds so why do you want them to find where you are outside of your house?  Just asking...

14 comments

Amber said...

You display enough of your life out to the world through your career, blog, Twitter, etc. I think you should keep SOMETHING just for you!

I decline friend requests all the time. Granted, probably not as many as you, but I don't accept people if I don't feel that there's an actual connection there. Just because we went to the same high school or have a mutual friend doesn't mean anything to me. I don't feel bad about saying no. These people know we're not or never were friends... who are they kidding? They're either just trying to raise their friend count, or they're just nosy! If they request more than once, I block them. Guess you could say that I like my boundaries. :)

All that aside, I still think it's a good policy to be careful about what you post on your page. I use my privacy settings even among friends... not everyone sees all of my pics, and about 80% of my friends can't even view my wall. I just don't feel comfortable sharing with everyone on the same level.

Foursquare IS creepy. You'd be wise to avoid it!

Jyo Nah said...

When it comes to Facebook, my filter is the desire for a connection. I try to make it clear that by sending a friend's request, I hope that you're actually authentically interested in being my FRIEND.

I don't filter what goes up on Facebook because what I put up anywhere is something I'm comfortable with anybody seeing, not because I've censored myself with the question "Can the persons in my professional life see this?" but because I strive to be genuine in all aspects of my life, and feel that business relationships and personal relationships should be similar, if not the same.

Interesting timing on this one question by the way. ;P I was planing on blogging on something similar here soon, hoping to have it out this weekend.

As four social location applications, I find them quite exciting. Its also quite possible to partake in them without providing information to those you do not wish to.

Mark Addison said...

OOOh you pose an interesting query...I think about this a lot, especially upon meeting new people. TV "personalities" are in no way celebrities, however if we break a law, or do something "indecent" it has the potential to sky rocket out of control. (and ruin our careers) I am in the same boat as you with walking the fine line between "personal and private" I try to live my facebook page by not posting/doing/saying anything that I couldn't do or say to my Mom. (Who I am "friends" with) But even this is a grey area at times...
I think eventually both of us will have to choose to delete or simplify...

Mark Addison said...

one more thing - I "deny" people most of the time, unless they look like they could be a good "friend" to have, let us not forget facebook is a place for friends. Social Media Tools are ways for us to meet new people and project an image of ourselves to the web.

Ted Stryk said...
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James said...

I second what Jyo Nah said: Maybe you don't know them in real life, but you know of them.

I use a party analogy. If facebook is a party my friend hosted, and that person was at the party, would I want to talk to them?

However, with the new security settings making it difficult to tell anything about a person, I sometimes friend them and unfriend them once I have a chance to see who they are.

Anonymous said...

I use mutual friends/google to figure out if I want to be friends with the "stranger" request. I deny them most of the time unless I can find a reasonable link. I want facebook to be for my friends and family. I want to be able to post pics from vacation, bitch about my job, read interesting articles, etc...I don't post things I wouldn't want my mom to see. But I don't filter anymore than that.

The social "map" programs are scary. You should be paranoid. If you keep a mobile device with phone and email capabilities, you can reach anyone and they can reach you if needed. There is absolutely no need to be some blip on a map...it only invites danger.

CC

Teri's Blog said...

I have a friend who is an actress and uses her facebook page just for close family and friends and has a "fans" page for everyone else.

Chris F. said...

I've used facebook for connections with personal friends as well as political contacts in addition to making contacts with people of other similar interests. I have blocked or removed people who make threats or harass me or my FB friends.

It is a judgment call. Perhaps you could set up one account for personal contacts and another one for other viewers, unknown people, etc...

LizP said...

I don't accept friend request from people I don't know unless ... well it only happened once so it's an anomoly. What I put on FB is for people I know and am sharing bits and pieces of my life with. Just my two cents :-)

Anonymous said...
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Denae said...

Bill C. - You are completely right. I need to be much more careful about posting info. You scared me into being much more PRIVATE. Thanks.

Denae said...

Excellent comments from my friends - thank you! I think I'm going to try the FB filters and then accept more friend requests. Privacy is difficult to maintain in this day and age but we can use the tools available to at least try.

Nan said...

Nothing is sacred on facebook...no matter what I have tried at being private...I know anyone can open my profile page without being my 'friend' if they really try hard enough !!