New and Improved Doesn't Mean Less Painful

Friday, 5 March 2010
I rode my bike 14 blocks to the dentist today.  The sun was shining and Spring has sprung in the Pacific Northwest.  Trees are not only budding, they are flowering.  Daffodils are up and pointing their shiny yellow faces to the sun.  My mood on the way to the dentist was upbeat and optomistic.  I've never been afraid to sit in a dentist's chair and I do not think cleanings and checkups are painful at all.  (Notice the foreshadowing.)  

After chaining up my sweet second-hand ride, I walked into the building.  My eyes adjusted to the atmospheric lighting and I looked around thinking for a moment that I had stepped into someone's cozy but well-decorated living room.  Nope, this is my new dentist's office! 

Nadia welcomed me from behind the appointment desk in the back corner of the living room.  She handed me intake forms to fill out and suggested I make myself comfortable.  Well.  Don't mind if I do. 

I made myself a cup of Jasmine Green Tea and settled into a leather club chair next to a window overlooking a huge Magnolia bush.  Birds were singing. 

After a very long wait in which I sipped my cuppa, the hygenist called me back.  As I sat down she asked, is the pressure okay?  The chair was a MASSAGING chair!  I naively thought, "Wow! Look how technology has advanced our lives!"  I settled back into false comfort and closed my eyes as she took x-rays.  The dentist came in, looked my mouth over and commented on a spot to watch while flossing.  Easy.

Then as if the theme music from Psyco started to fade up, hell on earth began.  The dental hygenist while nice and knowledgable, had a vendetta with my mouth.  She used the tiny metal pick to rake into my gums with the ferocity of a poor miner with six kids digging for gold.  My hands still have little half moons from my own fingernails digging into my flesh to stop from flinching.  What was she thinking? 

"Ahh, Denae... maybe if you took better care of your mouth..." you might say but I do not have manky teeth or gums. 

This torture went on for 25 minutes.  While she was polishing my teeth with mint-flavored goo, I noticed the stupid massage chair again.  It wasn't massaging me.  It was just laughing at me.  My mouth still hurts.


Nan said...

Brilliant Denae....and the picture is classic....I have always hated the dentist, even tho' I have a charming one !!!, but I just loved this entry.

S said...

Massaging dentist chair? How creative! But I guess it didn't really help to keep you relaxed while enduring dental torture. Loved the story!

Denae said...

Thanks Nan! The dentist has never been too bad for me but now I'm afraidddddddd. :)

My neck still hurts from clenching. Lol.

S - the massaging chair was a luxury until the tools came out. ;)