Saturday Night Bar Scene

Sunday, 17 April 2011
Top 10 reasons why I'm too old to go to a college town bar on a Saturday night:

1. Walking to the bar from my car after work, two different men yell to me, "Girl in hoodie, HAWT!" and I feel like making a rude gesture (but don't).

2. Bouncer at the door of Carleos sees my age on my ID and says "Thanks, ma'am" when he hands it back.

3. Music is so loud I worry that I should have protective ear plugs in.

4. Guy acts like he recognizes me and wants to hug me when I quickly duck under his embrace and he
shouts, "WHOA!" like I've done something wrong. Think about turning around and leaving (but don't).

5. Bartenders seem horribly rude. Who can blame them? There are 500 college kids swarming around begging for more alcohol when they should be ordering waters.

6. When dancing with girlfriends to let off some steam, random, overweight youngsters insist on repeatedly bumping into you. Mr. Fredy Astaire clearly accepts this behavoir in his mind as a form of dancing. I want to give him a hip bump that will send him sprawling into the kids next to him (but don't).

7. I wear heels to feel "girly" but find out that all of the inebriated guys and girls in the bar are intent on knocking me down because they can't walk straight. I'd be better suited in steel-toe, military boots.

8. The ladies room is not only out of toilet paper by 12am but someone is either passed out in the corner of one of the stalls or you have to endure the stench of vomit while you use the bathroom.

9. Want to order a drink? Be prepared to stand in line and suit up in imaginary football pads to elbow your way past the people throwing all manners to the wind to fight tooth and nail to get to the bartender before you do, even if you are next in line.

10. While leaving the bar, young women begin hobbling out in the street (on 5" heels) without even noticing cars driving by. It is a tragedy waiting to happen, especially if you are sober and consider taking one of the bar patrons out on the principal that she didn't look left or right before crossing in front of your car (but don't).

Disclaimer: I really enjoyed South Beach nightclub LIV last month but Snoop was the DJ. There's give and take in these situations...


The Food Hound said...

I've never been to Carleo's and I STILL kind of want to go, but I totally get where you're coming from!!!

Denae said...

Carleos is pretty fabulous, really. I'd just rather go on a Thursday or Friday night. Try it out!