No Pride

Monday, 17 October 2011
I don't know why I do it to myself. I try to operate on an elevated intellectual level so that I don't have to literally pull my hair out at every turn. Today, I failed.

Problem set 5 homework was due today in our statistics 660 class. No problem. Betsy and I (we sometimes are allowed to work in pairs) nailed this one and we were pretty excited to turn it in. I was working on cases A and C as well as problem #2. I thought she was working on case B and problem #3. We were going to combine our work and turn it in together.

Here's what went down:

Betsy (entering my office): Hi. Want to staple our work together?
Me: Hi! Yes. Perfect (getting out paperwork).
Me: Here's cases A and C.
Betsy: Cool. Here's case B and #2.
Me: Number 2? Oh. I did number 2 as well. Who did number 3?
Betsy: ....??...
Me:... ????.... ?!?!?!?!?!?!...
Betsy: .....!!!!!!!!?????!!!!!!.....
Me: Um. Okay. We won't panic.
Betsy: We have the answers...
Me: Yes, but he won't let us turn it in without the work...
Me: I threw away the scratch work today at Panera! I'll go get it. All is not lost!
Betsy: Okay. I'll begin frantically figuring #3 in the meantime.

I dash out of the Communication Science building and run all the way to the commuter lot stupidly lugging my backpack with a ton 'o books with me. Without somehow collapsing from expended breathing effort, I jump into my ride and calmly but aggressively back out of the parking space carefully avoiding students (who I'm sure do their work without having panic attacks and anxiety fits) and book it to Cumberland Avenue where my homework is crushed in the depths of a semi-fast food restaurant trash bin and hopefully has not been transported to the dumpster already.

Looking like a banshee running from a Halloween-suited, spooky clown, I bust into Panera and run to the trash can near the front door. I'm sure at this point people were feeling sorry for me. Perhaps they thought I was some sort of crack head needing the remnants of a bagel and cream cheese to get through the latest shakes but no... it was even worse than that. Our stats homework was going to be late!!! A couple of people did look my way when I opened the cabinet and pulled out the bin. I explained, "Ooops! I accidentally threw away my statistics homework!," as I began to dig through the trash. One guy kind of started to chuckle with me until I couldn't hold in my manic, shriek-like laughter. At that point, he could no longer make eye contact with me. Can you blame him? Thankfully, I retrieved the papers, made it back to campus and into class without any other major problems.

We turned in our homework by the end of class (success!) but I fear a 9/10 will allude us this time. The double duty on problem #2 was pretty awesome though...

2 comments

Dan said...

This is stuff that you'll look back on in a number of years and say "Remember when....?" and you'll laugh and laugh and feel good knowing that you did a good job and you got the job done; even if you had to rifle through a trash can...

Teri's Blog said...

Hilarious!