In the spirit of Happy
Holidays, I feel the need to post about the song, “Baby It’s Cold Outside.”
The song has been covered by everyone from Willie Nelson and Dolly Parton (love
them) to Michael Buble. The premise of the tune (as you likely know) is that
the singers are innocent lovers at his place and she is ready to go home.
Although she tells him it is time for her to go, he wants her to stay. They go
back and forth in a cute dialogue until he convinces her that it is too cold
for her to go home. You know the chorus (sing if if you know it), “But babyyyyy
it’s cooolddddd outsiiiiiide!”
After so many sexual assaults reported on campuses across
the U.S. but not prosecuted by the alleged victims (usually on advice from the
District Attorney), I have been thinking about the now popular Twitter hashtag:
#nomeansno. “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is one of those songs that may need to warm up to modern times (so to speak).
Look, I’m not completely unreasonable. The song is about
snow and cold and romance. I understand that in the day and age when this song
was written there was probably no way that a woman was going to stay over at a
man’s house that she wasn’t married
to anyway and maybe (possibly) he would force her to. I’m just a bit troubled that this is a song that we still hear in
the grocery stores, at parties, on the radio, and our children and teens also
hear it throughout every Christmas season.
Let’s consider the overall message. Imagine this exchange
between your daughter and her boyfriend or a college Freshmen and her Junior
holiday party date.
Her: I really
can't stay.
Him: But it's
cold outside.
Her: I've got
to go.
Him: But it's
cold outside.
Her: My mom is
going to worry.
Him: Beautiful,
what's your hurry?
Her: My dad is going
to worry.
Him: Check out
my awesome fireplace.
Her: Well maybe
I’ll stay for one more.
Him: Play some Pandora
and I’ll get the drinks.
Her: Our
classmates that live next door are going to gossip.
Him: Who cares?
It’s bad out.
Her: What is in
this drink?
Him: You aren’t
going to be able to get a cab.
Her: I need to
say no. No. No.
Him: Come here,
a little closer.
Her: I said no.
Him: Why are
you trying to hurt my pride?
Her: I really
can’t stay.
The conversation
goes on and on. He finally manipulates her into staying even though she didn’t want
to. The other HIGHLY troubling part of this song is the line, “Say, what’s in
this drink?” Did he drug her? That is what's implied here. It’s a bit too creepy for me to still think that it is just
a cute song.
Maybe you think I’m overreacting. No problem. You are
certainly entitled to your opinion and you are welcome to share it here. But
please allow me one last parting thought: if you are with children or teens and this
song comes on, why not create a teaching moment? “Have you listened to the
words of this song? It might seem silly because it is just a holiday song but -
she says she wants to go home and rather than convince her to stay, the right
thing to do would be invite her back on another day. If she wants to go home,
she should say goodnight and leave. No means no.”
In my younger years, I worked to please other people to an
unhealthy extent. Our young ladies need to be confident in standing up for
themselves when they are ready to go home (literally and figuratively).
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